My Thinking Has Evolved

On the eve of an important Supreme Court decision regarding gay marriage, many people in this country have been forced to rethink or confront their own views on the subject. I have long been opposed to gay marriage but fine with civil unions. My feelings on the subject were neither religiously based, in particular, nor rooted in any sort of prejudice. I will now use the cliche of "I have many gay friends." I do. My feelings have been rooted more in a historical and psychological argument, in that the family unit has always been one of the most basic structures in civilized society, and I have always been very wary of redefining what has been accepted for most of human civilized history.

I see the consequences of the deterioration of the family structure first hand in my teaching. Some of my students have difficult situations at home, and that puts a substantial obstacle in front of them for success. Obviously those obstacles can be overcome, but the road is much harder. The family structure in this country has been deteriorating for some time, through the ridiculous divorce rate, the epidemic of absentee fathers, children being raised by grandparents, children being raised by other children. People put forth many reasons for why our schools are in such trouble. As a teacher, I can say that I try to do what I can. I see your child for less than an hour a day in a room with about 30 other kids. Aside from being surrogate parent in some cases, psychologist, therapist, friend, and support, I also try and fit a little history in there too. But parents, you have access to your kids much more than I do. Who do you think is more responsible for their success in school and in life? We don't like to say it sometimes, but the broken family structure is, in my view, the root cause of much of the problems in schools. If the kids don't have support or stability or mature role models at home, there is only so much I can do in the limited time I see them. To be honest, I am often shocked and flooded with admiration for many of my students that do as well as they do considering some of their situations at home. I am not speaking of all (or maybe even a majority) of my kids. Many of them do, in fact, have great home lives and wonderfully responsible parents. And that shows in their success. But so many of them don't. And that shows too.

What does this have to do with gay marriage? I guess the fact that I have been concerned about the family structure in this country for so long, I was holding on to some sort of traditional structure, some sort of traditional mooring that we could have left. But I have come to realize that ship has sailed. Just as many more reasonable types in the Republican Party have begun to realize, I see we need to evolve as a country and as a society. My personal beliefs on what is and what is not marriage are not that significant to this fundamental question. Nor are those of any religious groups. The fundamental questions before the Court deal with whether the laws they are considering (mainly Prop 8 in California) violate Constitutional rights. Gays are not a strictly protected class, but that will probably change too. And perhaps sexual orientation should be strictly protected. My idealized view of what a family should be has already passed. It is time to allow gays to marry, at least in a civil setting.

Just as religious beliefs should not be a factor for the Court in deciding a Constitutional question, protection of religious freedom should protect religious organizations from having to perform ceremonies for gay couples. If the Court eventually states that gay marriage is a right, then they will also have to deal with a host of issues dealing with religious organizations and their tax-exempt status, hiring practices, etc. when their doctrine does not condone homosexual behavior. That will be interesting. Gay marriage as a civil right vs. protection of religious freedom and practice.

Anyway, the Court will probably rule as narrowly as possible. They usually do. They will probably throw out Prop 8, but stop shy of declaring gay marriage a federally protected right. But personally, "my thinking has evolved," as Obama and Hillary both said theirs had recently. Honestly, I don't think Obama has really changed his personal opinion, nor do I think Hillary changed hers. They both changed their stances due to where they saw the political winds blowing. Obama probably still personally feels gay marriage is wrong (based on my understanding of his religious beliefs), and Hillary I think always thought it was OK in the first place, but now it is politically expedient for her to say how she really feels on the subject. But that is just the cynic in me. Anyway, those are my thoughts on the subject. Yours?