The Dark

At some point my daughter decided that the dark is something to be feared. I don’t remember exactly when it happened. She used to be completely fine in the dark. But now it terrifies her. In order for her to go from one place in the house to another, I must turn on the lights in each room along the path. She just looks up at me and says, “it’s dark” and I know that I must light her way. Maybe she got that from me, honestly I still get uncomfortable in the dark at times. Not surprisingly, as much as I love horror films, yearn for the thrill of a rollercoaster freefall, as much as I love studying history and its darker chapters…no wonder I get spooked easily. I have sought it out. But I don’t really want that for her.

Of course, that can be used to my advantage when she is delaying in a room and not following my instructions. For instance, if I tell her it is time to go to her room for bed, and she continues to play in the playroom, all I have to do is have the light on in her room and turn the light off in the playroom, and she will run to the light like a moth to the flame. I do warn her first, though.

We have a dog next door named Lady. She is a sweet collie, and my daughter adores her. But when she was a little younger, she was intimidated by Lady and Max (the other little white dog next door). One day they rushed at her with tails wagging and they wanted to play. She was a bit startled and I picked her up in the nick of time. For days afterward, she would say “Daddy kept me safe from Lady and Max” or simply “Daddy keeps me safe.” That may be my favorite thing she has said to me so far, and it intimidates the hell out of me. I tell her that I will always keep her safe, but I know that I can’t. Not from everything that is out there. I know I’m not unique, every parent wants to always protect their children. It is what ensures the survival of the species.

Perhaps it is just my pessimistic nature, but sometimes I get anxious for her knowing the hands that the world can deal you. The world can be exciting, thrilling, stimulating, but it can also be cruel, frightening and get very dangerous almost instantly. I guess the best thing you can do is try and teach them how to maneuver through the rapids, let them know that you will always be there for them and protect them as best you can, and hope that life is kind to them. I tell her almost every night that there is nothing to be scared of in the dark. But she already knows better. And so do I. Sometimes you do need to be careful in the dark.