Getting Ready

A month and a half. That is about all the time we have left until our family goes from three to four. Been trying to listen to plenty of Graham Nash's domestic bliss songs to get myself in the right mindset. The three of us are handling it in different ways.

As per the baby books, my wife is in extreme nesting mode. We just paid a ridiculous amount of money to have the carpets steamed, from top to bottom. Tonight she had me drag out all of the old baby gear and clothing from storage. Out kitchen is now crowded with boxes stacked upon boxes of baby crap. How something so small could require so much still amazes me. Glad we kept everything, though. Now she is having me clean every item, and she is washing all of the clothes. Do you know how tedious it is to take out clothing from the dryer for such a small person? Separating out socks that are two or three inches long? It's cool though. As I was pulling out the baby clothes from the dryer I had a Clark Griswald moment (in 'Christmas Vacation,' where he gets trapped in the attic for most of a day and starts going through the boxes and finds the super 8 films of his baby days). I recognized the little jammies and shirts and dresses, and remembered my daughter as an infant in them three years ago. Nice moment. Also kind of cool that I get to go through that phase one more (and only one) time. Anyway, the wife is nesting. She's a trooper, though. As with our first daughter, the plan is for an all natural birth. We will go to the hospital and have baby delivered by a professional just in case there are any issues, but she plans on going without meds. That's badass. She's awesome. I am "birth coach." Basically, I get to massage her for hours on end through labor and give encouragement throughout the process. And get her stuff when she wants it.

My daughter, as might be expected, is a bit conflicted by this turn of events. The books also tell you to be prepared for this. At times she is very excited about "baby sister," telling us how she will play with her, help feed her, help put her to bed, etc. She is aware of baby sister's current abode, saying that "baby sister is in Mommy's tummy." But at other times, she has stated in no uncertain terms that she "does not want baby sister to come out." I think my wife very much disagrees at this point. Tonight when I brought out all of her former belongings that are soon to be baby sister's, she got quite possessive. She sat in her old bouncy seat, grabbed the infant rattle toys. "These are mine," she firmly informed me. Perhaps she was just being nostalgic and going down memory lane, but I think there was something more sinister at play here. She'll be a great big sister once she gets over the initial shock of not being the only one. I did tell her, though, "don't be a cliché. Don't regress to your infant ways when baby sister gets here. We've come so far with potty training." She just stared back at me rather puzzled. The books all say that toddler sibling returns to some infant behaviors when new sibling arrives. There is plenty of advice on how to make the change easier, but some things are just unavoidable.

As far as I go, I guess I'm good to go. My biggest worry is finances. Even before my first daughter, I wasn't too worried about being a good Dad and all of that. My mother-in-law's suspicions aside, I knew that I'd be a fantastic Dad. Dumber people than me have raised many kids and done a good job, so I figured I'd be alright. But the money thing keeps me worried. But then, lots of people have less money than I do and have many more kids as well. So I guess it all works out. I remember when my daughter first greeted the world, I felt slightly numb, emotionally. Perhaps it was the almost 24 hours of labor that we had just gone through. Quietly I felt a little ashamed that I didn't have that immediate flood of emotion and overwhelming awe that the event is supposed to inspire. It took me a little time with her to get as attached as I am now. So I am prepared for that this time around. After talking to other fathers, that is not an uncommon thing. You have to invest some care and time before you truly feel connected to your kids.

Anyway, we're ready.