The Worst Movie Ever?

It is appropriate as the revelation of Dez's Top 10 Movies approaches to take a moment to ponder not the best, but the worst. So much effort, money, blood, sweat and tears go into moviemaking, that the phenomenally bad movie holds a special fascination. Like passing an accident on the side of the highway, we are forced to stop and watch. How else to explain the various bad movie film festivals that are held around the country? How else to explain the sold out midnight showings of the notorious The Room that are currently so popular in L.A.?

There are several good sources to research bad movies. IMd has a "Bottom 100" list. The popular Golden Raspberry Awards is another. Critics like Roger Ebert have written gleeful books about bad movies, such as Ebert's entertaining 'Your Movie Sucks,' a collection of Ebert's harshest pans. The website Rotten Tomatoes is also an invaluable resource.

So, what is the worst film ever made? It depends on what criteria you use. Some movies are bad, but in a very entertaining way. Therefore, are they really bad? I would put the infamous Ed Wood crapterpiece Plan 9 From Outer Space in that category (a film often cited as the worst ever). Wood's Plan 9 (and in fact, all of his movies) and the equally infamous West Texas monstrosity Manos: The Hands of Fate fall into that low budget category that are bad but fun to watch due to their obvious incompetence.


ABOVE: Vampyra and Tor Johnson were two thespian giants who appeared in Plan 9 From Outer Space. It was also Bela Lugosi's final film. Lugosi died after filming a couple of scenes, but Ed Wood was a man not to be deterred. He simply hired his wife's chiropractor (holding a cape over his face) to stand in for Lugosi for the rest of the film. No matter that the stand-in was several feet taller than Lugosi and balding. Those type of details mattered little to Wood, which is one reason his films are so much fun to watch.

Then there are the bad sequels. Caddyshack II, anyone? Jaws IV: The Revenge is often considered to be the worst sequel ever made. There are the quickies put out with little intention of being great. American Idol spin-off From Justin To Kelly comes to mind. Bad, but it doesn't really attempt to be much more than a showcase for two recent Idol winners.

For me, there is a worse type of bad movie. There is the film that has all the resources needed to be a quality product. It is the type of film that takes itself seriously, and is not bad in a fun kind of way to watch. The type of film that makes you get physically angry as you watch it. My pick for the worst ever? Never has so much goodwill been squandered so completely than by George Lucas when he released the steaming pile of dung entitled Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace in 1999. I would watch Plan 9 From Outer Space or Manos: The Hands of Fate 30 times in a row before sitting through Lucas' monstrosity again.


"Meesa the most annoying character ever created."

How about you, dear readers. What are the worst movies you've ever seen?