Oscar Thoughts

In the old days, I had a lot invested in the Oscars. I religiously watched them, I participated (or ran) Oscar Pools, I fervently rooted for my favorites to be victorious. Because out of all of the awards shows out there, the Oscars is one of the few that still means something. The Grammys have long been a joke due to tone deaf and historically laughable choices, the Emmys, the Tonys, the Golden Globes, Actors Screen Guild…meh. But the Oscars have still retained some of the glamour and awe that was originally intended. Although you could argue that they have been trying really hard to lose it in recent years.

I won’t really comment on the actually winners and losers. Why? Because I’ve hardly seen any of them. In fact, I have not seen a single one of the nine Best Picture nominees. I love movies, but due to child and family obligations, we just don’t get to the theater any more. And for whatever reason, the exciting world of television has supplanted the viewing of movies for us. Breaking Bad, The Wire, Big Love, Sopranos…a lot of the excitement in entertainment has been on the small screen in the past decade. I want to (and will) see "Argo" and "Lincoln," at least. "Silver Linings Playbook" has sparked my interest.

But I did watch the broadcast, so I can talk about that. First of all, hosting the Oscars is akin to playing the half time show at the Super Bowl. Any intelligent person would simply turn the opportunity down, no matter the exposure you get. It is virtually impossible to come out looking great, the best you can hope for is a draw. Seth MacFarlane was, how shall we say, not good. It is not the forum for him to really cut loose on what he does best, so it was all just watered down yet still inappropriate humor. They are trying to pull in a younger demographic, which is also why they did the disasterous duo of James “I wish I were anywhere else but here” Franco and Anne “please, please, please like me” Hathaway a couple of years back. (At least Seth wasn’t that bad). But the Oscars is one of the few things where the old timey, somewhat classy feel is actually a plus. We don’t tune in to the Oscars for humor and hosts we can relate to. We tune in for a bit of that classic Hollywood magic of yesteryear. That is why, although I didn’t actually watch them, the broadcasts from many years ago with someone like Johnny Carson or Bob Hope hosting, that just feels and sounds right.

Some of MacFarlane’s humor fell flat and was fairly cringe-inducing. White guys doing racial humor, at least on that size of a stage, I’d suggest just steering clear. It could work in a comedy club or even in a film or on cable, but not at the Oscars. Domestic violence jokes (“Django Unchained” as a date movie for Chris Brown and Rhianna), probably not good either in that forum. The Lincoln assassination joke, it wasn’t so much that it was inappropriate, it was that it just wasn’t really funny and looked like he was trying way too hard. He wasn’t the worst host ever, but it was not a great night for him. When they try to be hip and appeal to different demographics, like with MacFarlane, Franco/Hathaway (or Chevy Chase and Letterman when they did it)…it usually falls pretty flat. You need a seasoned professional who doesn’t really ruffle too many feathers but can still poke light fun, a deft skill harder than it seems. That is why, in my head, Johnny Carson fits the ultimate Oscar host bill. But he’s dead.

As far as everything else, no real shocking moments or anything. Daniel Day-Lewis’s speech was endearingly awkward and quite funny too. And surprise, Quentin Tarantino’s speech was one of the classiest of the night. Jennifer Lawrence recovered nicely from her (drunken?) fall. Was Kristen Stewart high? She looked like she just finished a five day bender in Vegas. The Bond tribute was underwhelming after so much hype. I think they did intend to gather all six actors together, but since they couldn’t get all of them to appear, they scrapped the whole thing and did the video montage. I enjoyed Shirley Bassey’s brassy rendition of “Goldfinger.” Some called it over the top, but that is like saying Jimi Hendrix’s albums have too much flashy guitar playing. Always a favorite moment for me, the In Memoriam segment, inexplicably left out Andy Griffith (“A Face in the Crowd,” anyone?)

Overall, not a very memorable Oscars. The entertainment segments were mediocre and forgettable, as were most of the acceptance speeches, and the all important host was a bust. I did quite enjoy the “Jaws” hook music to shut down acceptance speeches that went too long…