IV's, Adenoids and Scamp

My two and a half year old daughter was diagnosed with pretty severe sleep apnea not too long ago (I've got it too). In her case, it was due to huge tonsils and adenoids. I still don't know what adenoids are, but apparently hers were huge. In fact, the doctor said that 90% of her airway was blocked by these damn things. So they had to come out.

Fairly routine surgery, but still a surgery, and anytime you do something like that on a toddler it is still a serious matter. The surgery went fine, but the overnight stay in the hospital for observation was not very fun. First and foremost, I got thrown up on three times. The anesthesia makes you nauseous. My wife: zero vomits. Me: all three. How did that happen? Each was a different color too. The first one was immediately post-surgery, so it was thick and yellow and full of bile. The second one was clear, since she had nothing left to get rid of since the first time. The final one was red due to the two popsicles she had just finished. I had only brought two changes of clothing with me, so I got to rotate my now smelly jeans.

We didn't get a private room (because there were none available), so we had roommates. If you think roommates in general are bothersome, try it in a hospital. First there was some little girl who had a nasty abdominal infection that the doctors could not figure out. Her extended family were all visiting and distraught, so there was a lot of "aye, dios mio" and so forth from various grandparents. Additionally, the kid's siblings were visiting, and they were bored and had colds. So we are in this small room with only a curtain separating us, with little kids hacking all over the place. If you want to get sick, go to a hospital. I wanted to throttle the little bastards. Guess what. On top of her recovery this week, my daughter seems to have a little cold now too. Hmm. Where did she pick that up?

The girl's condition worsened, so they finally moved her to a different room. Ah, our own private room! Until about an hour later when they wheeled in a 2 month old with respiratory problems. I didn't mind the crying of the infant so much as the parents, who wanted to read until 1 a.m., and therefore kept the light on in the room. Giving them the benefit of the doubt, I assume they thought the thin curtain that did not go to the ceiling or the floor kept the light from bleeding over, but it did not. When they finally shut it off, my wife was so pissed she immediately turned our light on to flood their side. I joined in and cranked "We Are Siamese" from Lady and the Tramp on our TV as loud as it would go. (Don't worry, the children did not suffer. Their infant was out of the room being fed or something. My daughter was wide awake anyway.)

Also, try explaining to a two year old why she can't take out the IV stuck in her arm for 24 hours. She just could not see reason on this matter. "I want it out, I said!" "Daddy, you take this out!" This is where the art of distraction comes in. Which brings me back to Lady and the Tramp. Lady is her current obsession, and thank Dios Mio that I thought to bring the DVD with me to the hospital. We basically had that on in a loop.

I am staying home with her for the week during her recovery. She can't go back to day care for two weeks due to a slight risk of hemorraging. Nice moment today: we went outside to play and it was a breezy fall day. We both sat down on the concrete driveway, leaned back and just quietly listened and felt the breeze as it rustled through my neighbor's very tall, neglected grass and weeds. This was one of the first times that I felt like I was with a real person, vs. just my infant or toddler. I don't know if that makes sense, but it was a great moment. This was not just my baby to take care of (which I love doing, don't get me wrong), but I was able to watch her sitting, smiling and enjoying the breeze and for the first time she struck me as more than just a baby or a little toddler.

I bought Lady and the Tramp II: Scamp's Adventure (straight to video from 2001) to spice things up. These days I'm watching both films several times a day (we also have to keep her from being too active during recovery. Try explaining to a toddler why she can't jump on the couch when she has been allowed to do so for her entire life). I now know both films intimately. I must say, I love the original Lady and the Tramp from 1955. It is so simple, elegant, gentle and flows at a lovely pace. As for Scamp's Adventure, not so much. Scamp, by the way, is Lady and Tramp's son (remember at the end of Lady, they had three daughters who looked like her and then a rambunctious son who looked like Tramp? That is Scamp.) The new one is much faster paced for today's ADD kids, but it loses so much in comparison to the elegant original. It is crude and shallow in comparison. My daughter differentiates them by saying "old Lady" and "new Lady." Although, just through repetition, Lady II has grown on me a little. Being the obsessive that I am, I have purchased all of the classic Disney animation features up through the 1970's for her, but Lady is the one so far.

Below is the famous spaghetti scene from Lady and the Tramp. Below that is a recreation/homage from Lady and the Tramp II: Scamp's Adventure. How they eat says it all. The classic of a bygone era and the crudity of today. F*cking ridicuous...

ABOVE: Buster (voiced by Chazz Palminteri) is the antagonist/bad influence in Lady and the Tramp II: Scamp's Adventure.

Lady and the Tramp: ***** out of *****
Lady and the Tramp II: Scamp's Adventure: ** out of *****

Posts on the way about Bond's 50th B-day, my latest NBA Fantasy Draft, the attacks in Bengazi and the Peter Gabriel reissues.

I leave you with Kraftwerk's "Ohm Sweet Ohm" (not to be confused with Motley Crue's "Home Sweet Home").