Friday, November 21, 2014

The Lie

My four and a half year old was being saucy the other day. I told her that she needed to be careful because Santa Claus is watching and he won’t bring her toys if she misbehaves too much. She thought for a second, and then asked: “How does he actually know?” Really? You are already going to doubt this elaborate fiction of childhood? No, I must dig in deeper. I must lie to further the lie. I responded, “well, we have regular conferences with Santa. We speak weekly over the phone and I tell him how you have been.” She just stared at me skeptically.

4 comments:

ANCIANT said...

You should have quoted her the song. He knows if you are sleeping, awake, bad and/or good. It's a pretty limited menu. But still: the good/bad thing covers a lot.

JMW said...

She sounds ready for the truth. Maybe she'll respect you for it.

Dezmond said...

ANCIANT, but that song still doesn't cover exactly HOW he knows. That was her question. Is he a divine being? Dos he have an elaborate spy network? Snitches? And JMW, no way. Not yet. (I mean the telling the truth part, hopefully she respects me.) I don't remember how old I was when I learned the "truth" about Santa. I can remember the conversation with my mother very vividly when I asked her point blank and she admitted it was all a lie. But I don't remember my age (it was when I lived in Nashville, so it was between about age 5-7?) Damn, she is close to that already.

ANCIANT said...

Why should YOU know how Santa works? His powers are vast and mysterious. There's no necessary reason for you to understand them. In fact, I'd argue your understanding them significantly diminishes the magic and the excitement.