Chinese Democracy Is Here. Where’s My Dr. Pepper?

Recall awhile back I posted about Axl Rose’s epic struggle to complete Guns ‘n Roses’ follow-up to their most recent release (as in, the mid-1990’s). CD’s imminent release has been reported since then, with countless release dates come and gone with nothing. Also recall that Dr. Pepper haughtily offered to give every American a free Dr. Pepper (except Slash) if Axl finished and released the record this calendar year. Well, Dr. Pepper, it is time to pay up, because Axl has finally unleashed Chinese Democracy on the world.

How do you review an album like this? How do you judge “the most anticipated release. Ever.” (according to the marketing team of Best Buy, who has an exclusive distribution deal on CD. And it may be the most anticipated release, but not in a good way. Most anticipated as in ‘will Axl actually ever finish it? How long can he drag this thing out?’) How do you listen to the record without also getting caught up in the carnival of fools surrounding the recording of CD?

The only thing to do is toss the history aside, listen to the record itself and judge it on its own merits. So what has Axl given us? Undoubtedly it is a record of huge ambition. He makes no apologies for trying to create a BIG rock record with all the pretentious trimmings. This isn’t a bad thing; perhaps rock needs this kind of ambition again. The results are mixed. As with most projects that are labored over and revised long after they should have been left alone, things are overproduced and somewhat sterile. From the wall of guitars, the choirs, the strings and melodramatic keyboards to the samples and Axl’s attempts at singing in different voices…it is too much. Reading through the record’s credits, one is (sadly) not surprised to see 13 different studios listed. On the musician credits for each song, there is an average of 4-5 guitarists listed on each song. There are some absolutely killer guitar solos here, but good luck figuring out who played what. While listening, I found myself longing for the streamlined vicious attack of Appetite For Destruction or G’n R Lies.

The title track is a success, showing great pretention while also rocking really hard. Tunes like “Better,” “There Was a Time” and “I.R.S.” are top notch hard rock full of melody and hooks. Axl scores big with those tracks, while the brooding “Sorry” reveals real emotions and insight into Axl’s state of mind over the past couple of decades. But the highlights and real distinct songs end there. The rest sounds like Axl was trying to best the overblown “November Rain” from days of yore. Any bets on how long the next one will take? And where do I pick up my Dr. Pepper?

**1/2 out of *****